Thoughts

This blog is a way of releasing any thoughts, problems, solutions and any other things that go through my head about my journey in the Performing Arts Industry.

During my BAPP course I came up with this plan of helping myself and other performers by doing deep research and getting evidence that will help us continue mentally and emotionally in this Industry. By saying that I haven't actually gone into it yet so this is one of my goals within the next couple of weeks.

I feel that preparation (learning new material etc) is something I've been avoiding for some time now and I believe that now is the right time to keep it up. Preparation is a word full of questions in my head. What I'm I preparing for? Is it worth it If all I hear is no? Am I ever going to be fully prepared enough anyway? and all these thoughts that go through my head and in the end I decide to avoid the real factors that will take me a step closer to my dream.

Is anyone else feeling that everything they do goes to waste? I mean yes I improve through training and by going to classes but really is all this work going to pay me off? I do understand that I chose to be in this profession for a reason but truly, I thought I was talented enough to 'make it' by now. Why have so many others 'made it' already? What am I doing wrong?

It's frustrating! How I'm I going to support myself financially in order to have a family?? Like ever. I thought that I'm suppose to chose to study what I love and what would make me feel happy spending my time doing in the future. Is there a secret? I know I chose one of the hardest paths that I could possibly choose and I know that my family wouldn't be supporting me If they didn't believe in me in the first place..

I do know that right now I'm not doing everything I possibly can so there you go! I am making a change, I choose to make a change right now, this moment because I want to; and If my will is this strong then there must be a way for me to get There. But where is There? Maybe that's what I need to do, figure out what is it that I actually wanna do and do it, one way or another! Cause that's who I am, a fighter, I always get what I want Whenever I decide that I am going to get it! That's the way to go :)

Go Anna!! x